Jokes, love, bicycles

The following is an excerpt from a wonderful Wichita Falls Times Record News piece about Fred Mathes, 92, and his Schwinn Traveler, 56:

Diana Marcum/McClatchey Newspapers
Monday, June 9, 2008

MADERA RANCHOS, Calif. —Fred Mathes rides his bike to the post office (which in this neighborhood is inside the local video store), to the local diner, and out through the open fields.

“Did you hear about the centipede who fell in a ditch?” he asked. “He couldn’t get up. He was too exhausted trying to figure out what foot to put first. Same thing with a bike. Who needs 18 gears?”

In 2002, Mathes sent a photo of his bicycle to the Schwinn company.

“I told them, here’s a picture of my bike. It’s 50 years old and has maybe 35,000 miles on it. You can use it in your advertising no charge.

“They sent me back a pair of socks.”

In my estimation, Fred just about has it all figured out. I highly recommend reading the full story.

Read the Full Story >>

[via The Velvet Foghorn]

7 Responses to “Jokes, love, bicycles”

  • Perry says:

    Fred is my hero. I like his whole philosophy of life and his bike is older than I am. Cool!

  • Perry says:

    PS. The black socks with the white shoes are super-cool. You know that you are cool when you can pull off a fashion statement like that.

  • Tim Guthrie says:

    This guy is awesome!!! This gentleman should be the national spokesman for cycling-for-transportation (CFT). Living proof that if we use our God given abilities we will be blessed!

    How many people who thought he was crazy died weak, and broken 20-30 years ago?

    The Schwinn folks should be using this guy in the media. Socks, sheesh,

  • Jeff says:

    Well, Tim used my word. Unfair, totally unfair, so I’ll use it anyway. Awesome, totally awesome.

    What’s funny is I think my family used to own that same model. We referred to it as the black bomb – last time I saw it was over 30 years ago and it was quite old and beat up (but still worked like a charm!)

  • andy parmentier says:

    ok, ok, i’ll admit it-there’s a guy in my madison wi area who rides a black tour easy. his name is clem baime, and he’s 92. i had been wanting to ride anywhere but here, because i wear out places like i wear out food. i used to eat special K for every breakfast-you know i can’t eat it anymore. do you want to know where my black tour easy is? in portland, oregon. it’s my other half, and that’s why i said i’m in two pieces. my bike does’nt break down for travel, but i break apart from my bike for travel.
    i did’nt want to honor seniority to the point of servitude, but clem, if you’re reading this, i hope that sometime we could go on a ride.

  • Jack says:

    some recumbent jokes:

    a man calles upon the gates of heaven and he meets Saint Peter. Well Peter asks, what do you want do in heaven. Well, man says, on earth I was recumbent rider so that I would like here too. Well Peter says that we shall have the choice between different types of search but so, So the man runs along m5, flevobike, challenge, and finally he decides on a Velomobile quest. So says Petrus you have a sense of speed, but I have bad news. There are many upright bicycle riders and we are already in heaven so if something happens … we have no further station. So you can not travel faster than 15 kilometers per hour. The man goes on the road does not go beyond the first gear and is made up with a huge speed by a low racer with the brand JESUS. So his agonizingly slow pace of 15 back to Petrus. Petrus tell me what you make me do he says, I may only travel 15 but I am overtaken by a cyclist who was really speeding on a bicycle with a brand jesus.
    Oh yes, Peter sighs, the son of the boss he.

    For years a dealer working with his help without speaking to each other. They both do their own work and the need to speak that is not there. At a given moment, the help with a new recumbent on his work. Well, says the dealer, beautiful bike, and they both go working again. The help turns up the next day, with a note that he cancels his job. Why, says the dealer. Well, says the help, all that fuss about my new bike.

    My wallet is stolen by an upright racer said one recumbent rider to other recumbent rider. He asked: could you not keep up with him to get it back? Yes said the other I was well up in the lead, but when I looked around he was not there anymore.

    A little boy with his new recumbent holds at a traffic light next to a policeman on a horse. The policeman looks down on him and says; well boy, beautiful bike. Yes, says the boy, just got it for my birthday. Then the policeman says: I suggest that next time you will also ask for a for a rear light. The litte boy thought this is not really nice to say, and is not really fond of the remark. He has a feeling of hurt pride of his new bicycle. He tells the police officer; next time when you ask for a horse could you please ask for a dick underneath instead of on top?

  • BAW says:

    Who needs 18 gears? If you live in West Virginia, which is not called ‘the Mountain State’ for nothing, you do. Singlespeeds and three-speeds are fine if you live somewhere flat. If you can mash one up some of our hills, then I admire you, but you should remember that we mere mortals need extra help.

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